Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Glimpses of Jesus

Even though I am sad, and seem to be on the edge of tears every minute, I feel such peace today. It is at times like this, when we are going through the worst, that we get the chance to see the best in other people. I have seen Jesus all around us these past few days, and think I should share some of my glimpses with you.

After our first really rough night Thursday, I drive to school thinking I'm not sure how much longer I can keep working. When I arrive at school, I find that some dear friends had arranged it so I could stop working Friday. When I shared this with another friend at church on Sunday, she teared up because on Friday morning she had been praying for that exact thing.

I have seen Jesus in the friends who have sat by Isaac's bedside and kept me company. I have seen Him in 2 friends, who come daily to sit and just be near Isaac. I have seen him in another friend, who came home from out of town this weekend and was here by Isaac's side every day.

God's love is in the meals I have received, the email and comments I get, the texts and phone calls, and many offers to help with our needs. I saw Jesus this morning when I got a Facebook message from a high school friend who said at 3am, God brought me to her mind and she was praying for me. Unknown to her, at 3am I was crying out to God for help. Isaac had wet his bed, and I was by myself at 3 in the morning trying to get him to let me change his sheets and clothes. God heard my prayers - and answered.

But, the place I have most seen Jesus through all of this, is in Isaac. Last night I whispered to him "Do you still think God is good?" and he mummbled "MM hmm" and nodded. Last night, I got a measure of peace when I was Isaac said to me 'In Heaven, I won't have to worry about this. I won't have to have this feeling. No more pain."

So yes...this is the most difficult thing I have ever gone through. It's the lowest valley and the dryest desert. But God is in it with me. He shows His face daily. I will be okay.


  1. Jessica, I know we have not spoken in years but I want you to know that you have been in my thoughts Ans prayers constantly over the past week. You come to mind as I read verses of comfort when I am sitting by my mom's side. I have a devotional that makes me think of you as I read it every day and I feel that I have to send it to you. Would you please message me you address? With love and prayers, Brandy Walker Cutrell

  2. God is so amazing. He allowed Isaac just enough time on this earth to experience the earthly joy of being married to you before bringing him home to the greatest joy anyone can imagine. I am so grateful that all of our prayers for your peace, comfort and strength are being answered. We are all here for you Jess, in prayer and in person.