Thursday, June 24, 2010


One of the phrases I hear all the time is: "Isaac's watching over you!" or something to that effect.

But I disagree.

I don't think he is.  In fact, I actually hope he isn't. 

If I believed Isaac was watching over me, then for me, everything I believe about Heaven would be wrong. 

Heaven is supposed to be this amazing, awe inspiring, beautiful, wonderful, beyond perfect place.  There is no pain, no sorrow, no tears in Heaven.  So how then, can I think that Isaac would choose to spend his time watching me here on this crummy earth?  When we are in Heaven, we are supposed to spend our time worshipping at the feet of God.  Why would I think Isaac would choose me over God?

I think that the moment Isaac crossed over into Heaven, he either just in some divine way knew everything important that would happen in the lives of those he loved, or it just didn't matter what was happening here on earth because he was so darn excited to be in Heaven! 

If I can equate it to anything, it is sort of like the time I was home with Isaac before he died.  I didn't think about what was going on at school, what my students were doing, how my substitute was doing...because the time I was spending with Isaac was so precious and valuable that I didn't care what happened anywhere else.  I hope that's how it is for him now, that the time he is spending with God is so sweet and so precious and so wonderful that he doesn't think about life on earth.
I told Isaac I'd be okay.  And I am.  I think a large part of that comes from this belief that he is not "watching over me".  Strange, yes.  But, I think if I believed he was watching me, I'd hang on to him more...and he clearly told me that he did not want me to hang to him.  Of course I will always love him and I will carry our memories close to my heart. 

I believe Isaac is not watching over me, but that's okay...because my Savior sure is!


  1. your entries never cease to amaze me. I am so thankful to know you Jess, even if I don't get to actually "see" you, these blogs really touch me. Thanks for being a strength to me. I'm sure you have tons of friends to hang with but if you ever want to get together just send me a FB message. (I am living back in Hanover again.)

  2. Before my sister passed, she reminded my mom that time in Heaven is very different than it is here on Earth. She reminded my mom of how certain she was that we would all be reunited there, and that for her (Melina), she would just turn around one day and we will all be there there, like no time had passed at all. Unfortunately for us, the time apart seems like forever, but for Melina and Isaac, they will greet us with, "I'm glad you're here. I just got here myself!" ;-)

  3. Jess, I have the same views that you do about those who leave us and go to their permanent Home next to our Daddy. I think it's a much better reward and I love that you talked about it. Your heart encourages me constantly. Thanks, God, for Jessica.

  4. i agree with you, i think people need to believe or at least say that our loved ones are watching over us because it is a coping mechanism, it makes them feel better ... you continue to amaze and inspire me, thank you for laying it all out here for yourself and us!